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So something hit me like a lightening bolt yesterday and I just can’t keep it to myself. This whole year, I have been on a journey to discovering how to be a better, responsible, selfless version of myself and I think I have a been doing a great job at it because now my house is very peaceful and we are mostly good until we are not and then my husband and I get disconnected from each other but it’s not chaotic anymore (posts about that to come) but yesterday I finally got it; what my husband needs from me is friendship.

I am sure you have heard this and read and maybe even said it, “every marriage is different”. It is NOT cookie cutter NOR is it for the faint of heart. Unfortunately there isn’t a blog, a book, a magazine, a sermon on how to be married nor what kind of wife your husband needs (he will tell you want he wants but it doesn’t mean that is what he needs); unfortunately you will have to learn WHAT and HOW to do that with loads of prayer, time and patience. There will be blueprints on how to better response and how to change your outlook and perception of this new world you have entered into but there will never be a specific guide or manual about YOUR MARRIAGE; only God cane reveal that to you.

So yesterday, God revealed to me what my husband NEEDS from me. For years I have been doing a lot of stuff that I thought my husband needed from me ( which became VERY tiring; I felt like superwoman and wonder woman in one body) when all he needed from me was FRIENDSHIP. I have been so busy being busy, and trying to be the wife that he I THOUGHT he needed that somewhere along the way I stopped being his friend. The only friend that he can be 100% authentic and intimate with. My culture and society has put so much pressure on what it looks like to be a good wife (as much as I try to fight it, I find my self reverting back) that you don’t have time to be a good friend to the person you devoted and pledged your life to; and without realizing it, you also put pressure on him to be a perfect husband for you; which no man has a manuel (I can’t begin to imagine what that weight feels like on top of being a man that already has the weight of the world on his shoulders).

Well on this wonder Labour Day, I vow to be a friend, the most devoted, loyal and only intimate friend my husband needs, all the other titles will follow that.

Lord, I thank you for giving me this revelation. I have not paid attention on nurturing my friendship with the person I have chosen to devoted my life to and I ask for forgiveness for not stewarding that relationship properly. I pray that just as you’ve reveal this to me, I ask that you reveal to every married women that are where I have been; crying ,begging and pleading with you for guidance on how to do this marriage life. You are the one who created marriage therefore you are the only one with the blueprint on how to keep it. I thank you for Lord for a new measure of patience and grace be extended to me as I extend that we do the same for my husband on this journey to a beautiful, healthy and exemplary marriage for the world to see. In the beautiful and heavenly name of Jesus I pray. Amen

Hope you have a great week and will post soon.

Bye good soils.