Hey Rooties,
It has been quite an interesting past few weeks.
So last week I fasted for my marriage because it hasn’t been the best between my husband and I. I mean are haven’t argued or beefed. Nothing like that, It just have been a little tense between us because he is stressed out about work which in turns causes him to shut me out completely. But when I see him interact with our daughter, it hurts my feelings because he is choosing whom he wants to allow into his space.
Anyways, I am not here to discuss that, I am here to talk about a post I put up a few weeks back regarding not knowing how to honor or respect my husband biblically because I have never seen it done growing up. So I decided to go on a fast, for clarity and direction. In my time of fasting, there were a few things, the Holy Spirit reminded me about myself. One of them was how I have lost myself in my marriage. Meaning my relationship with God used to be top priority, I used cancel or sometime rush through my dates just so I can make sure to get home on time to spend time with God. But now my relationship with my husband has taken that place. WHY? well because I am always trying to understand how I always put my foot in my mouth and when I apologize I dig that sucker deeper down my throat. The more I tried to make him #1 in my life, the more tense and uncomfortable it would be in my house. Now my husband is an avoider, I on the other hand like to tackle things head on. If something is wrong he will NEVER tell me what’s wrong. I have to sit with God and let him tell me where I messed. Once that has been revealed to me, I quickly and swiftly go to apologize. At this point, he doesn’t even really care for apologies because I do it so much. But what he doesn’t understand is living in a single parent household, the dysfunctions you learn are so deeply imbedded into you, they have become part of your cells.
Any who, I digress, during my fast I kept listening to the his message by Dr. Myles Monroe regarding singleness in marriage ( I have attached the video below as reference). He explained that the Pharisees came to Jesus and asked Him , His thoughts I’m about divorce. Jesus’s response to the question was about singleness. Dr. Myles Monroe explained that when there are irreconcilable differences, divorce should NOT be the option or even a thought, but instead look into the 2 people INDIVIDUALLY because somewhere along the years, these individuals become something else out the covering of His blood. Essentially , those individuals starting depending on their intellectuals and such to help them in their marriages.. The best way he explained it was, when God created man he created male and female. The male was completely independent from the female, he was a WHOLE man, when God formed the female she was a WHOLE female. They did not complete each other; they understood that their main source of life came for God and they honored that UNTIL, Eve disobeyed and became arrogant and Adam following suite.
Society has us believing that it is the most beautiful thing to complete somebody. NO. IT. IS. NOT, that thought is COMPLETELY dysfunctional. How dare you think you can complete somebody, Not even twin, who came from the same womb complete each other. So why on earth would you think, God who created you AS and individual created you to complete somebody. That is WWWWAAAAYYYYYY too much of a burden. Its a crazy idea Hallmark and Disney has sold us and we took the bait. When we are in a relationship, and there is a conflict the 1st thought or at least many of the thoughts that come to mind is to leave; don’t get me wrong, there are valid reasons to leave. But reason like not washing the dishes or putting the trash out or avoidance isn’t reason enough to destroy a WHOLE family unit.
So, as of lasts Sunday, I took a vow to RE-discover my singleness. That does not mean I am leaving my husband, (we said till death do us part, therefore one of us has to die before I willing walk away) It just means I am going to take time for me and rediscover who I am through Christ , with His blood covering me; because I can say FOR SURE, I do not remember who that person is. I want to get back to that person because that was that was who my husband fell in love with; not this person I have become.
So join me on the Journey to self discovery of my singleness.
In Eden 