Rule #6: Honesty with positivity

Hello Rooties,

Hope you guys had a great week. First thing first, I want to apologize about last week. I forgot to let you know I was going on vacation with hubby and would not be posting anything. Sorry about that.

Today, I want to talk about the rule of honesty. Now I am sure most of you know, honest is the best policy but did you know most married folks are not honest with their spouse. Its important to be honest and more then ever its important on how you delivery that honest statement and you have to be willing to receive it too. When I first got married, there were a few things I would tell my husband but my delivery of this honest statement would never be received and I would just get more and more annoyed because it would changed. So one day, I was talking to a friend and she said, ” Your job is not to tear your man down but to build him up.” You can be honest and still provide encouragement with your honesty.

Example, last week my husband and I got into a “passionate discussion” (lol- that is what we call it in my house lol) and in my mind I wanted to say you are showing me love in a lazy manner because your communicating love me to in the way you want me to communicate it to you but not the way I NEED you to communicate love to me. Your a not a very good husband right now because you are not listening to what I am telling you I need. But I flipped it and said, “you are a good man and a good husband; we have only been married a short while and I do not think you are taking the time to LEARN me as your wife. As I said before you are a good husband and you WILL be a GREAT husband.” His response to me was “What if I never become a great husband?” I told him ” you don’t have a choice but to be a GREAT husband.” In that moment I communicated 4 things to him

1. I communicated acknowledgment. I acknowledge all the good things he has done as a husband and how much I appreciate him.
2. I communicated honesty without tearing him down or hurting his pride.
3. I communicated who he is and will be to/for me.
4. I communicated reaffirmation. We are married until one of us dies, I will not leave you and I KNOW you will not leave me (because he said so) so our only option is for us to make it work. He will be a GREAT husband to me and I a GREAT wife to him; and that can only happen when we take the time to learn each other.

So rooties, be sure when your are being honest to stop and encourage him during your “passionate discussions” if because if you don’t your words will cause discouragement or angst. He may not want to talk to your for a while and may feel hurt because he may think you do not appreciate him.

REMEMBER: it is YOUR job to build man up not tear him down. 

Alright seedies, hope you have a growing week and a blessed one.

Feel free to leave a comment or send an email to tell me what you think or if you have an topics to suggest regarding dating or being a newly wed.

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