Hello Seedies,
How are ya’ll growing this week? Hope you guys has a good one. As for me, it was a little hard due to work. But thank God for a long weekend. Anyways, we are not here to talk about the exhausting week, we are here to share what I learned this week (which was several things).
Last week we talked about your husband is not a child and must not be treated as such. Your husband not marry you to be treated or spoken to as a child but to join together with you and grow together and fulfill purpose together. Today’s post is a continuation of last weeks post;Let Your Husband Be Himself. DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT try to change, force or manipulate him into being/doing someone/something he is not. It will backfire and hurt…. BELIEVE ME.
When you allow him to be himself you also learn from him who he is and what he is does. This ties into a previous blog posted earlier one about no expectation. Having no expectation for him other then the basic expectation (he loves you and your respect him), he will not feel pressured to be someone different with you (his wife) and his friends. When you met the man and dated the man you know certain habits he had before you said I do. So in the world would are you trying to change that. If it was a red flag for you then you should have never said “I do“. You loved him then so you can love him now with those same habits. Solution, communicate and compromise.
Examples, so this week was more like a realization instead of a seed of knowledge for me. Since, I stopped expecting things from my husband, I’ve seen a completely different side of him (which I LOVE). My husband, likes to take sometime to himself. Now when we were dating, that was ok because we were not in the same house but once we got married, it annoyed the living day lights out of me. I would nag and complain about it. Until a few months ago, I just stopped and thought about it; “This is something he has always done and has said he does, so why would I think because we are married it would change?” So when I think he needs time to himself, I ask him is that what he needs. If so, I just let him be and I do me; once he is good, we talk about it (because i do need the communication to know what caused you to go in this space) and move forward into a good time. Once I started stop expecting and gave him the space to be himself, he speaks his mind more which gives me the chance to understand how to thinks better and why he does what he does. He is a lot more vulnerable and I get what I always wanted him (time, more affection and more physical touch). It just has been flowing in a such a great manner because I have stop expecting and just let them man be himself and in the same process I learn more about him as well.
In the same process of letting him be himself, pay attention and learn your husband. Life is too stressful for a man PERIOD, so add that on to the pressure of being a HUSBAND/FATHER. The whole family decisions is weighed upon his shoulder, then to turn around and come to a home (which is suppose to be a sanctuary for him, a resting place for him) that is stressful because of all the expectations he feels he has to live up to; THAT IS ALOT.
Allowing your husband to be himself it the key to getting everything you need. Yes, there are habits your husband will have that will annoy you and that is when you talk about them and come to a compromise and move forward.
In my example,
Habit: stay to self sometimes.
Compromise: When you are good please communicate your thoughts with me as to what happened because sometimes, it could be something we can workout together or something to just put my mind at ease to know that it had nothing to do with me.
(Please understand, this specific compromise may not be for you but i am saying come to a compromise that works for the both of you).
Well seedies, time for me to go. Hope this helps you grow in you marriage soil. Love ya’ll
Sincerely, RL
In Eden 