Hey roots,
How are you growing this week? ( I’ve thought about that saying all week lol). Hope you guys had a good week of growth and such. As discussed, this is a new journey for me and I am learning something new EVERYDAY and sharing it with you and grow together.
I literally learned this rule this morning, my husband is not my child, he is my HUSBAND. I am sure you have all heard this saying, “a husband is like a child“. Well, that is not true, he is not your child; he is your husband and must be treated as such. I grew up in a household where my father acted like a child because my step mother ALLOWED him to. When he did not get his way, guess what he did? Threw a VERY big tantrum and she just let him have his way. Until the poop blew up in their faces and she was responsible to clean it up. I can only imagine how draining that was.
So this week, it came to my attention that my husband has a habit of not listening or acknowledging what I say if he doesn’t think its important to him. I will say something and he would not respond or he would just change the subject. It makes me feel like what I have to say does not matter or isn’t important enough for his attention. This issue happened 2 days in a row, I promise you I wanted to give him a peace of my mind but I did; instead I sat down to process exactly how I felt for two reason. One, I am working on being a better spouse. Two, I want to honor God in my marriage with the words I speak. The bible says in Proverbs 15:4 “A soothing tongue speaking words that build up and encourage is a tree of life but a pervasive tongue speaking words that overwhelms and depressed.” Proverbs 18:21 “death and life are in the power of the tongue“. James 3:1 “the tongue is a fire…“. The words I speak, can either tear down or build up, I am in the business of building up. In the past, I would just go off on him -as a parent would a child- but as a wife, I am learning to stop, think, and articulate. So this morning, when he wanted to joke around, I expressed to him that I was mad last night and why I was mad. As I was expressing myself (as an adult), I realized something; I do the same exact thing to him. Once I realized that, I apologized to him for disrespecting me and he apologized to me for doing the same. We talked and came to a resolution. If i had gone off on him like i did in the past, he would have shut down and not heard a word i was conveying in my anger. We had this conversation earlier this morning and i see him making the effort to listen to me no matter how minute or ridiculous the subject might and I am doing the same.
Lesson learned, your husband is not a child so not treat him like one. He did not marry you to be his mother, he married you to be his wife. The duties of a mother is different from those of a wife. If you brought up in a house like mine, this will be a challenge but you got this. The dysfunctional marriage ends with you, it will not be a generational curse. The minute you stop treating him like a child he will start acting like a husband. When you take a stand and challenge him out of his comfort, he will grow into the man he was designed to be for you.
Alright roots, wishing you an wonderful weekend and next week. Have a great week guys and I hope you continue to grow deeper roots in your marriage as I am in mine.#unapologeticallyrooted#notsorry.
Sincerely, RL
In Eden 